The Jervis and Jonathan Show
by LadyKaramel
Summary: This is based off of a random stream of shows that I find amusing and really funny. I thought that Jervis and Jonathan would fit into this so please R and R and you can send me ideas as to what I can do!
1. No books and no beer

Hi everybody! Here is a silly one shot that I wrote inspired by a Simpsons episode Tree house of Horror and when I saw it I immediately thought of Jervis and Jonathan. So yeah enjoy! I own nothing.

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Jervis was walking down a staircase into the main part of the library while outside the lightening crackled bathing the entire room in light.

"Jonathan? John? Hmm, what he's typed will be a window into his madness." Jervis looked down at the type writer and saw the words he had written were:

"Feelin' fine. Whew, well that's a relief." Jervis said then the lightening crackled again revealing the words written on the wall to be: No books and no beer. Jervis looked around his eyes widening at seeing it was written all over every part of the room.

"Hmm, well this less encouraging."

Jonathan suddenly burst through the door and said," HELLO!" Jervis screamed in terror and Jonathan began to walk towards him.

"So what do you think Jervis? All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of 'No books and no beer make Jonathan go something something.'"

"Go insane?"

"Don't mind if I do!" Jonathan said and then he freaked out while waving his hands around:

"AAAAAAAalabalabalaba! Ablablablabla! blablablabla! ble ble ble ble! bloo! bloo! bloo! vvt! vvt! vvt! Habadaba! woo woo woo woo!"

Jervis screamed as he ran towards a container that held a bat and had "break in case of long time friend insanity" written on it. He broke it open and pulled the bat out saying," Stay away from me Jonathan!" He began to swing the bat back and forth and Jonathan advanced on him saying," Give me the bat Jervis! Give me..the..bat!" Then he said in a high voice while waving his hands," Give me the bat. Come on, give me the bat. Give me the b-b-baooooow. Ha ha, scaredy cat! Blarg!" Jonathan made a face and then he looked into the mirror on the wall.

"AAAAAAAGH!" Jonathan screamed and then fell down the stairs grunting the entire way. Jervis dragged Jonathan to the pantry and then dropped him to the floor.

"Now you stay here until you aren't insane anymore. Hmm, chowder would be good tonight." Jervis said then he walked out of the room shutting the door.

A while later Jonathan was eating several things from the pantry and Harvey knocked on the door.

"Jonathan? It's Harvey. Some of the other rouges and I are a little concerned that the project isn't moving forward."

"Can't murder now. Eating."

"Oh for crying out loud." Two-face said and then him and the other rouges unlocked the door and walked in.

"Come on." Two-face said.

"Nooooooooo!" Jonathan said as the rouges dragged him out of the room.

End.

So what did you guys think? Did it fit in? Please R and R and if I get 7 reviews I'll make another one!

-LadyKaramel


	2. The new bunny

Hi everybody! Here is another chapter for this story and even though there aren't seven reviews I still couldn't wait. Hey is anyone else super creeped out by the Arkham City Hatter? I mean seriously the voice, the hair,-ugh- and he's just a major 12 on the creeper meter. Anyway this is another from a Simpsons episode so don't hate me for my opinions! I don't own Batman The Animated Series!

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The grocery store wasn't as packed as it would usually be on a Saturday and for once Jonathan was glad for that. This means that he could get through the list faster and get home before Jervis could see whatever had been marked as being a special event in aisle twelve. When he was about to grab a box of Oatmeal off of the shelf he heard a voice he hoped he would never hear again.

"Jonny! Woo hoo, over here!" a high brooklyn accent yelled and then Jonathan felt a pair of arms wrap tightly around his neck.

"Harley my dove take your arms off from around Jonathan's neck. He cannot breath." an aristocratic voice said and Jonathan felt the arms loosen. He turned around to see Harley and Oswald Cobblepot standing there with Oswald trying to hold Harley back from attacking the ex-Scarecrow and locking him in an eternal hugging headlock.

"Oh hello you two. How are you today? Have either of you seen Jervis?" Jonathan asked looking around.

"Oh we've been doing incredible! We've moved on from the whole Joker episodes and have a nice littl' life startin'!" Harley gushed hugging Oswald around the neck.

"As for Jervis we do not know of his whereabouts." Oswald answered.

There was suddenly a commotion going on in the next aisle and Jonathan, Harley, and Oswald hurried over to see exactly what Jonathan had feared: Jervis gawking over little bunny rabbits as he moved from cage to cage.

"That one's nibbling on a lettuce leaf! Oh look at that fur! I just want to brush it and brush it! (Gasp) Have you seen a pinker nose? (Gasp!) I have now!" Jervis gushed and then he ran to the next cage.

"Jervis we don't have time for this! We have to finish shopping and- Jervis?" Jonathan said.

"He's gone Jonathan. He's gone." Harley said putting a hand on the red haired man's shoulder.

"That one has fur that looks like a tuxedo! Aw a bandage on his little ear, aww! (Gasp!) Albino bunny!" Jervis yelled and time passed as Jervis kept going from cage to cage.

"I definitely want this one. No maybe this one. Oh my gosh I didn't even see this one! Aw, aww, awwwwwwww!" Jervis exclaimed.

A woman walked up to the three of them and she chuckled at Jervis' enthusiasm. " I see you've found our bunnies. However, none of these bunnies are for sale because they've all been adopted."

"Awwwwww!" Jervi said in disappointment.

"Whew!" Jonathan thought to himself.

"However..." the clerk said.

"Mmm?" Jervis said.

"No..." Jonathan said.

"We do have one..."

"Mmm?" Jervis said.

"No..." Jonathan said.

"...that wasn't adopted..."

"Mmmmmm?" Jervis said.

"Noo..." Jonathan said.

"...and that needs a good home." the clerk said pointing over to a little kennel with a little white bunny with red eyes and a little pink nose. Jervis walked over to the little bunny and he had a big grin spread over his face.

"He's...perfect! He's the bunny that I want! Oh please Jonathan can we get him? Oh please oh please oh please oh please?!" Jervis exclaimed as he fell to his knees.

"Jervis I.."

"Oh please Jonathan can you get the bunny? I love him too! Please oh please oh please oh please?" Harley exclaimed as she fell to her knees.

Jonathan sighed an exasperated sigh and when he looked down at his best friend and his best friends best friend and then at the clerk and then at Oswald who just shrugged.

"(Sigh) How much for the little flea bag?" Jonathan asked the clerk and he could hardly hear her over Jervis and Harley's simultaneous exclamations of joy.

End.

So yeah they have a bunny rabbit now. I'll work that into the next one later but what did you think? Please R and R!

-LadyKaramel


	3. Couldn't find the remote

Hi everybody! Okay this one's going to be real short but really funny! I got the idea from Gravity Falls so yeah it should be funny. I own nothing.

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Unbeknownst to Jonathan Jervis had taken Radar (because that's what Jervis insisted on calling him since his ears always stuck straight up) to Harley's for the time being and Jonathan had just been watching old horror movies when the angle of the genre suddenly changed.

_**You're watching the black and white period piece old lady boring movie channel...**_

Jonathan looked around the chair for the remote.

"Jervis! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!" Jonathan yelled down the hallway.

**_Stay tuned for the Friday night movie "The Duchess Approves" starring Sturly Stembleburgiss as The Duchess and, Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble as Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshirre!_**

"JERVIS!" Jonathan exclaimed. Lovely piano music started to play and on the screen there was a rose under the words The Duchess Approves and next it said costumes by 'Pepi'.

"No...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jonathan exclaimed throwing his hands up into the air.

_Some time later..._

**"_I don't care about dukes or commoners or his royal highness! I'm not afraid anymore mother!"_**the duchess on television exclaimed as Jonathan pulled a carton of ice cream closer and took a large bite without looking away from the television.

_**"Duchess I forbid you." **_

**_"I may be a Duchess mother, but I'm also a woman!"_**

" Yes yes! In your face Elizabeth! I-I-It's just like my life! (Sob) Somewhat." Jonathan said brushing tears away from his eyes.

_Some time later..._

"Aww the wedding. I've waited so long for this! Oh look at her in that dress!"

A banging of doors occurred on the television.

" Count Lionel? What's he doing here?"

**_"I've come to reclaim my bride."_**

"You had your chance at the cotillion you!" Jonathan exclaimed pointing at the television.

**_"You had your chance at the cotillion you!"_**

"That's what I'm saying! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!" Jonathan exclaimed.

Jervis was just walking up the steps to the apartment building when the television burst through the window to their apartment and smashed onto the sidewalk. Jervis looked up wide eyed to see Jonathan looking out of the window.

" I uh...couldn't find the remote."

End.

So was it funny? Please R and R!

-LadyKaramel


	4. Disco Jervis

Hi everybody! Here is another new chapter for this story and please oh please review! It gives me power! okay I own nothing and yes this is another one inspired by Gravity Falls, which is a cartoon I just love! This is when Jervis and Jonathan are still in Arkham and things get boring so you have to make your own fun with arts and crafts! Here is the video to go with it: watch?v=smdw48it-ss .okay I own nothing!

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Jervis was standing on a swiveling chair and had his back turned in the recreation room.

"Are you done yet?" Jervis asked.

"Not yet." Harley said peeking around Jervis and then disappeared again after grabbing a tube of glue and a can of glitter.

A few minutes of silence.

A few more minutes of silence.

A few more minutes of silence.

"How about now?" Jervis asked.

"Almost...and, done!" Harley said after patting Jervis' tummy and then she swiveled the chair around to reveal Jervis was completely covered in sequins and pink glitter.

"Let's do this." Jervis said and Harley turned the lights off while Poison Ivy pointed a flashlight at Jervis before turning on the music which was a disco pop song* and the glitter as well as the sequins lit up and Jervis became a human disco ball. Harley spun the swivel chair and as Jervis spun around and around on the chair the exact affect of a disco ball lit up the entire room. Everyone in the room began to dance: Two Face, The Ventriloquist, Scarface, Poison Ivy, Joker, The Riddler, even The Scarecrow who was reluctant at first but then decided to humor Jervis.

It was at that moment that Dr. Leeland walked into the recreation area with two guards and she stared for a good 45 seconds at the entire room dancing under a disco ball light brought on by a human covered in sequins and pink glitter.

A few more beats later she said," I'll see you all tomorrow."

After she left the guards stared for a few minutes, looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then began to break dance to the music.

End.

Just a little something silly. Please R and R!

-LadyKaramel


	5. Arkham Daycare

Hi everybody! I'm back with another episode of the Jervis and Jonathan show! I own nothing! Oh and by the way this is a universe where they were never villains and this is an episode with them in Arkham daycare! I saw it on tumblr and thought it was adorable! I own nothing!

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It was nap time at Arkham daycare and Jonathan was laying on his nap mat with a red blanket and on the table next to the nap area there was his snack: a chocolate pudding cup and a milk. A blue blanket with a lump under it scooted over to Jonathan and a little head peeped out from under it to reveal a little face with an overbite with braces stuck to them and little blonde strands of hair. Jervis flipped the blanket off just as Jonathan woke up and when he turned his head Jervis was close and the red head jumped. He scowled at Jervis, and the little blonde smiled as he sat up and then Jonathan noticed Jervis eyeing his pudding cup. The little blonde made a reach for it but Jonathan bopped him on the head to which Jervis tried to get the pudding again but Jonathan pushed him down and then took a bite of the pudding. Jervis smiled and then pushed Jonathan who then fell forward into the pudding cup getting it all over his face. Jervis giggled and ran to the coat rack with Jonathan chasing him.

Jervis climbed the coat rack and then he jumped down with Jonathan moving out of the way back to the table and then he raised a teddy bear but Jervis fell onto his back trying to grab the teddy. Jervis did grab it and then getting to his feet he waved it at Jonathan trying to hit him but then he tried to jump up onto the table but he fell once then tried again and succeeded.

"Ha ha!" Jervis whispered then Jonathan jumped up too.

"Roar!" Jonathan said which caused Jervis to fall back and as the red head smiled smugly Jervis picked up the teddy bear and threw it at Jonathan's head. Jonathan fell onto his nap mat and then Jervis got the pudding cup and took a few bites of it, keeping Jonathan at bay with his foot. A couple more bites and then Jervis left the pudding cup and when Jonathan grabbed it he saw it was empty, Jervis was smiling, and then raced after the blonde again. Jervis squeezed under the craft table and then he ran back over to Jonathan's nap mat to which Jonathan waved his hands in a shooing motion.

Jervis hugged the blanket and the teddy but then Jonathan marched over and grabbed the blanket.

"Mine!" Jervis yelled.

"Mine!" Jonathan yelled back and neither of them noticed that their yells were stirring the other kids awake.

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Miiiiiiiiiinnnnne!" Jonathan said pulling harder and then Mr. Gordan came into the room and said, "Boys!"

That caused Jonathan to let go of the blanket which caused Jervis to launch back into Pamela and Jonathan to launch back into Edward. Jervis began to cry which caused Pamela to cry then Edward and Jonathan to cry which then caused everyone to start to cry and Mr. Gordan sighed rubbing his eyes.

End of chapter.

So what did you think? Please R and R!

-LadyKaramel


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